The Headlines

First words out of his mouth when Alyssa and I walked into his room:
Where have you been?! I've been awake since 5:30. You have to learn how to help me do my tongue/mouth/swallow therapy. The guy next door was drunk and kept me awake all night. No ones been to see me yet. I can't see the tv because I have double vision and black spots in front of my eyes. (Can you say...too many steroids???) He literally talked all day long. Although his tongue is still swollen, he is getting easier to understand. And he hears really well. LOL!! We were saving up for a pair of those really expensive hearing aids that he would have to have as a musician.

Funniest thing that happened today:
Okay, second funniest thing, because he'd kill me if I told you the first...
Alyssa and I came in from dinner and he's "watching" Hannah Montana, the Movie. Alyssa says, "Why are you watching this?" and he says, "Because it was the only channel playing any (air quotes) music."

Most touching thing:
He teared up when our faithful Sandy came in the room and he told her it is so overwhelming the love and support he is getting when he was such a lousy person long ago (he really wasn't) and he's so thankful that the Lord put people in his life to teach him how to be a friend. Thanks again for visiting. I do think he's up for small visits pretty much any time now.

Scariest thing and "How the Hook's got in trouble with the nurse in ICU":
For his tongue and swallowing exercises he uses a small sponge on a stick that is dipped in ice water from a cup. Then he is supposed to practice taking a sip of water and spit it back into the cup. He had already decided that if the therapist said to do it 10 times, that doing it 20 times would make him get better faster and Alyssa had to remind him that "it's not quantity of reps, it's quality". Then, on the last therapy session, he takes the sip of water and swallows it! I freaked out (because I've seen enough medical dramas to know that you don't drink something until you have it on your chart;)), but he wouldn't listen to me. He insisted that if he could swallow the water they would let him have it and he stubbornly continued to drink the whole cup of water, while I fretted. Then he wanted more and I told him not without the nurse's permission. I went out and told her and she said, "NO, he can't drink until they make certain that his swallowing mechanism is not sending the water to his lungs!!!" I was mortified that I wasn't more strict and Gary was properly contrite, until she left the room and he said defiantly, "I felt the water go to my stomach."

Please pray:
*There will be lots of therapy. He will have to retrain parts of his brain to help him swallow, to have his eyes work together as one, instead of separately, to put his tongue in the right place, etc. I noticed a lack of coordination in his left arm and hand. His tongue and eye show a slight weakness on the left. BUT he mustn't rush things and he must listen to directions and me. Most importantly, he must take things slowly. He's already decided that he will be perfectly fine to drive Alyssa to Jackson, MS for her ballet intensive in 3 weeks. Plus he was talking about resting while doing yardwork...I kid you not.
*His blood pressure and blood sugar level are very high. The meds they give for swelling wreak havoc on his system. He's having to take insulin now. I know it will all work out, but it's hard not to worry.
*Many tests today...a barium swallow, brain MRI, ct scan, etc...that all will show wonderful results.
*Today (yesterday) was the first day I actually had the urge to fall apart. Gary's always been so strong and I realized that some things could be permanently changed for him. I thought this would be more of a 20 years from now thing.

What the world needs now is love: (stupid philosophical moment)
Don't forget to love...every person in your life, every activity you do, every talent and gift God has given you, every precious moment of your life. Don't be too busy to enjoy things. Let yourself and your family have fun. Try new things and experiences. I guess I'm just trying to say that God has given us so much to enjoy in this life and we get awfully bogged down in the daily grind. My prayer for my family (and yours) will now be that we live every moment to it's fullest, realizing that God has everything under control, so we can stop trying so hard to control everything and just enjoy what He's given us...family, friends, work and play.

Warning...giddiness ahead

Hi again! WARNING...giddiness ahead. If you don't have a high tolerance for that, you'll want to skim this email:)

Gary is doing so good today! The night nurse talked to Alyssa and I as we were leaving and she said, "Can you believe he had BRAIN SURGERY 48 hours ago?" I said, "Can you believe that he trimmed at 8 ft hedge and bundled it for the trash just two weeks ago with that thing in his head?" She said he's like Superman.

Today we could really see Gary coming back. He admitted that he is "swallowing, but it doesn't count until he can swallow coffee and ice cream". He also took the night nurse by surprise by answering her in a dry, sarcastic way about some comfort or pain question. She was startled and was beginning to explain that she couldn't fix that and I had to let her know that there would be much more of this to come. Then she gave as good as she got by scolding him for a worry he has..."There will be no Eeyoring in one of my patients' rooms!"

He actually sent the nurse to the waiting room to ask for one of his worship team buddies today. I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that he sent for a buddy before sending for me...;). I just talked his ear off for an hour this evening. Poor thing kept trying to sleep and I just kept talking! And guess what, as most of you know, talking into his right ear meant talking fairly loud before all of this happened. Well, I whispered a couple of I love you's and he answered back. Yep! Apparently huge tumors can effect your hearing too. And his tinnitus is better also.

There is so much I want to say, but I'll start winding down....I'm home for the first night, supposedly to get extra sleep. Alyssa and I are both running on a lot of adrenaline and it is hard to get to sleep.

Please pray for wisdom for the Drs. as they decide tomorrow when Gary should leave ICU. Pray for the swelling to go down in his throat so he can get off the breathing treatments. They are very uncomfortable for him and they bump his pulse and blood pressure quite a bit, so they're having to give him more medicine to counteract that. Pray for his "worry" from above...that his whole throat, mouth and neck area will return to normal, so he can still sing on worship team. I was telling the nurse that he sang and played many instruments and he said, "Well, I used to..." (That earned the Eeyore comment.)
Pray for Alyssa's stamina as she heads into a week where she will be spending hours preparing for a huge dance event...that she can sleep and eat enough and still get to be with her daddy as much as possible. Pray for our sweet Amy, who does not have the incredible support system of friends that her sister and I have. Her dad is who she leans on for the big stuff.

Thanks many times over to the amazing teens who are Alyssa's support system. Don't ever forget the power of "being there" and laughter. You are all truly are rare in your ability to give up your own daily pursuits to sit in a hospital waiting room, talk to a bunch of adults, listen to a sleep-deprived wife of a very sick man rattle on, and on, and on. And make Alyssa feel so incredibly loved and comforted.

Thanks again to all of you for your prayers, for coming to visit us, for texting to check on us and for all you offers of help. Special thanks to my dad for some amateur sleuthing and my prayer warrior friend, Cathy. Gary's glasses had been sent to the wrong ICU section and no one was even bothering to discover who the "Gary H." was. They will be vital over the next few weeks when he can only read and watch movies and I was panicking about how we were going to get bifocals made when he can't go try the glasses on.

Okay, I will finally end. I know that we still have a way to go, but I'm excited to see what plans God has for Gary in all this.
Love,
Kay

Everything is going so well. It's hard to believe that it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. Of course, Gary is wanting to be all better now!:)

Pray that he will relax and rest, letting himself heal. Some of the natural results of surgery are actually things that were mentioned as possible damage to nerves. I think Gary is worried that he may have some permanent damage, but all Drs. are reassured of full recovery. Praise God!

Also, please pray that Gary will not have any more adverse reactions to medications. He seems very sensitive to many things. He's never really had any medications that he has taken for any ailments.

Can I just say that I am sooo blessed by all of the many texts, emails and visits from everyone. You are all very special.

Gary had a bad night, but everything seems to better now. After giving him morphine for pain, Gary began struggling to breathe and at one point his oxygen level dropped from 95 in 60. I watched a real-life medical drama as they "bagged him" and tried to get him conscious, which they didn't. They called Dr. K., who moved up the cat scan to stat and they intubated him. The good news is that the ct scan came back perfect, his oxygen level came back up and he opened his eyes wide and said, "Uh, huh" when I told him that if he did that again tonight, I was going to call John to come harass him and the nurse asked if John was a pretty scary dude:). (Love you John!)

He's resting peacefully now, so I'm going to curl up on this "comfy" waiting room bench and get some sleep.

Kay

After the surgery - 11 + hours

Gary is finally out of surgery and is in ICU. He is looking great....breathing on his own already. The surgery took 11 hours. They had to cauterize and then remove each blood vessel that was attached to the tumor. But in the end, they removed the tumor whole, so that's a great thing.

I cannot express how grateful Alyssa and I are for the many friends who came to stay and keep us company. Who could have ever imagined the time this would take??? I love a surgeon who is slow and meticulous though. We are so blessed.

I'm going back into the ICU until 6 AM and then I will head home for sleep. They don't allow phones or computers in ICU, so I'll be out of touch until tomorrow.

Love to you all,
Kay

(This was the email that Gary sent to his friends and work colleagues the day after his diagnosis, right before he entered the hospital. Kay)

All,

A surprise has come my way and I wanted to let you know what my
immediate future looks like. I would have wanted to tell you in a
conversation but time does not permit.

I've been having some odd physical symptoms over the last 3-4 weeks,
which resulted in a neurologist ordering an MRI of my head. Yesterday
afternoon they discovered a tumor growing at the base of my brain in one
of the ventricles that holds brain fluid. The blockage of fluid flow
is the cause of the dizziness that I've been experiencing. We don't
know how long it's been there or how fast it's growing, but it has to
be removed. On the plus side, it's appearance is such that it is
well defined/contained, doesn't appear to have any "fingers" into the
surrounding brain tissue, and surgical removal should be complete.
Anything that might be left behind would be addressed with radiation
but best case it looks like I'll not require either chemo or radiation.

I expect to be admitted to North Austin Medical Center today (Thursday);
the surgery should take place tomorrow (Friday, May 27). I've been told
I will spend 2-3 days in the ICU followed by a few more days and then
I'll be released. Then 2-3 weeks at home to recover.

I don't believe in coincidence any more; my God has everything under
control and (Romans 8:28 - wise) I know that there's a purpose to this
experience. I'll say that God has prepared my body for this by causing
me to take better care of my physical health over the last 6 years, and
the timing of this has fallen rather nicely into a bunch of other activities
so that there will be relatively little disruption to my family. I'm totally
thankful for that, and have every confidence that it's all good.

Prayers appreciated for Kay, Amy and Alyssa, and for the skill of
the surgeon and his team as they go about their work.

Gary

(My letter to several friends after arriving home from the ER, the night we found out about the tumor.)

Thanks for all your prayer and support tonight.  I can't believe that it was just last Thu. that I came to the restaurant with the news that Gary was going in for a lot of tests.  This was the least imaginable news...
> 
> We won't be going to MD Anderson after all.  The tumor, though malignant, is encapsulated.  They will cut a square at the back of his neck to where the brain stem is located.  Removal should be fairly easy. As long as there are no pieces attached to any of his nerves, there won't be any need for radiation or chemo.  Gary prefers to stay here and there is nothing about this particular type of tumor that is complicated, so MD Anderson was overkill.
> 
> He will check into the hospital tomorrow and have a full spinal MRI to make sure that none of the tumor has, I believe the Dr. said "dripped" into the spinal column.  That would be a complication! Then the surgery will be Friday morning.  If all goes well, he'll be home in 5-7 days and back to work in 4 weeks.
> 
> Amy and Alyssa are devastated.  I can't even get hold of Amy at this point, but I told her to go home (she was at Graham's when I called her) and get lots of sleep, in case we had to head out early to Houston.  You don't suppose she followed my instructions???  I wanted Gary to tell Alyssa himself and not get the news from me, to remind her that he looks and feels fine.  She cried more than I've ever seen her cry.
> 
> I am doing okay, except for the whole sleeping thing, as you can tell.  I'm always great during the crisis and then fall apart afterward.  I've been randomly crying at weird moments.  I went to the Dr today and have an upper respiratory and sinus infection.  Thank goodness I will have been on my antibiotic for 24 hours before the surgery or they might not let me near Gary.  My parents are coming tomorrow.  I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.  My dad cries so easily and crying is so infectious.
> 
> I'm just randomly writing now.  You can stop reading anytime:).  I need a blog like Alyssa....
> 
> Funny story...I had to call Kristin and ask her what the heck to do if the neurosurgeon wanted to admit Gary immediately and do the surgery, because we don't have a will.  Yes, two super responsible 50+ adults (with 102 years of experience between us) have never written out a will.  The fear was that Texas might have a law that the money be divided between the spouse and kids.  Can't let the girls have the money at this point. They're just too young to be put in that position.  Kristin was so sweet, looked some things up for us and sent us some papers.  I feel like an idiot:/.
> 
> Well, I'm going to try to sleep for a bit.
> I'll keep in touch...
> Love,
> Kay