8 Weeks Ago Tonight

It was exactly 8 weeks ago that we sat in the ER at North Austin Medical Center waiting for the neurologist on call to meet us there. I’ll never forget the feeling of having Gary call me from the MRI center to tell me we had to meet the Dr. there immediately. We’ve all become so accustomed to waiting a week or two to hear the results of any medical test we take. Immediate consultations with Drs. could mean only one thing.

When I checked in at the ER window to see if Gary had arrived I was told that he hadn’t yet, but “everything” was ready for him; I turned from the window and heard one nurse say to the other, “Is that his wife?” I felt the blood drain from my head and I had to sit down and tell myself to breathe slowly. I knew that he had been fine when he left the house and that he would walk in the hospital just as normal as when I’d last seen him.

One month in the hospital and one month recuperating at home later, Gary is not as “normal” as he was when he greeted and hugged me as he entered the ER that night, but every day there are tiny improvements and we’ve headed into what feels like an almost normal life.

Gary is back to eating and drinking without any trouble. He has had to limit his coffee somewhat, much to his dismay, as it affects his already erratic blood pressure. Mostly, he has to drink less coffee so he can consume more water. Staying hydrated is extremely important for him and his physical therapist helps me regularly encourage water consumption. Most importantly on this subject is that Gary had the stomach tube removed on Tuesday!! I thought I was going to have to make him one of those chains that kids make at Christmas so he could tear off one link each day.

Praise God, Gary’s blood pressure is resolving. After a couple of high readings of 170/95, the Dr. said to completely get off the blood pressure medicine designed to raise his numbers and see what happens. Now his readings vary from 150/85 to the occasional 70/40, but the low readings are infrequent. They usually occur in the morning, after pt and/or when he has been someplace and has to get in the hot car. Upon standing, he will get a little dizzy and have to sit down for a few minutes before continuing on his way. Coolness and hydration are the key (actually for all of us in Texas this summer).

So, this brings us to walking. Although Gary has become quite adept at wheeling around in his wheelchair, he has been instructed to use his walker most of the time. About the only time he uses the wheelchair when we go out is if we are going to the movie. He has gotten quite good at taking the stairs with the walker, but we don’t want to push it in a darkened movie theater. The only drawback with the walker is if he is experiencing dizziness from low blood pressure (or trying to change directions too fast). He has no problem recognizing dizziness coming on now though, so he can sit back down, take a few deep breaths and be ready to move again. Gary is practicing with a cane at pt and once the double vision is completely gone, he will be able to move on to a cane at home.

The double vision is much better. Morning reading at the computer is still not completely focused, but he no longer uses his eye patch. As with everything he does, he is pushing himself to make things work better now! The other day at the grocery store, he put 4 bananas in my hand, only my hand wasn't quite there yet and they smashed to the ground. I asked him if he had seen two hands and just missed the real one. No, he just let go of them too early:), so he and Alyssa will be eating an extra banana over the next couple of days, or Gary said that there is always banana bread.

Speaking of food again, he has made a cheesecake, a lemon torte and many batches of peanut butter and lemon ice cream. He insists on making his own breakfast and lunch. We're still finishing off all the great frozen meals we were given, so I've managed to keep him out of the kitchen at dinnertime. He just bought some fresh Brussels sprouts though and he plans to roast those soon, so it's obvious he's planning to start helping with evening meals again.

A typical day for Gary is many hours at the computer, walking on the treadmill or rowing, lifting some weights and doing leg exercises, physical therapy 3x a week (down to 2x next week) and and finally, a couple of TV shows before heading off to bed around 11:00. He is working part-time again already and I have to fuss at him as much as possible to let us do a few things for him. The other night he decided that he would go outside and start watering the yard. Well, that is definitely not my favorite job, but I went into a whole story of "what if you fall down and hit your head on the sidewalk and get a concussion and blah, blah, blah". He laughed at me, but is letting me water for a while longer:). (Nope, in a quick update, I took Alyssa to dance tonight and when I got home he had started the water in the back yard.)

If you want to hear how his speech is doing, give him a call or come by and visit. Every once in a while, his d, t and r will give him some trouble and there are certain combinations of letters that cause him to sound slurred. In the evenings, he says that he feels like his speech isn't as clear, but we have no problem knowing what he's said. We do miss all our company...that was the most fun part of the hospital! We did have a little get-together for a dear friend that was visiting the states from S. America. It was small, but we're already planning a much bigger "thank-you" party for all of you who truly demonstrated the principle of being Jesus' hands and feet for us this past two months. Gary has to get a little better first though, because he's a much better host than I am a hostess!

I think I have a small understanding of what post-traumatic stress disorder is like now. Alyssa and I are both having some anxiety, worrying too much about little things...I'm tearing up easily and she is more tired than usual and has little appetite. We've talked about it some and feel like we ran on adrenaline for the entire month we were at the hospital; then she went to Ballet Magnificat and I came home with Gary. She was, of course, unbelievably busy and I was busier than usual and both of us were still keyed up, waiting to see what changes Gary would make. Even now, with so many of his abilities back to normal, we find ourselves waiting and watching him...is he doing too much, is he getting overheated, has he had enough water, was that a stumble, is he dizzy...the list could go on and on.

We both know that God has incredibly blessed all of us with Gary's quick and major recovery and we know that worry isn't scriptural, but when you watch someone that you love go through SO MUCH, it's impossible not to feel anything. We feel indescribable joy, we feel unbelievable gratitude, we feel a very raw and emotional love for this husband and daddy, but we also feel a "sitting on the edge of your seat", heart-pounding wonder at what exactly tomorrow holds. But we are "trust(ing) in the Lord with all our hearts and (definitely) not leaning on our own understanding". If we had ever NOT done that in the past two months, I think we, Gary included, would have missed out on experiencing what has truly been miraculous.